#but even back in the day i feel like everything was rainbows and sunshine lmao like i've never had issues with this fandom

[ghxstkn1fe]

i just woke up in the middle of the night, started immediately like catastrophising because that’s just what my brain does. and then, not 30 seconds into it, the concept of Jay Ferin was inserted into my mind. i instantly felt better. she’s like my guardian angel <3

[thereoncewasagirlnamedjane]

small worlds.

✩ read on ao3 ✩ masterlist ✩ forget-me-not creative campaign ✩ library blog

PAIRING — 1940s!steve rogers x f!reader

CONTENTS — one-shot, hurt/comfort, somewhere between fluff and angst, mild sexual content, established relationship

SUMMARY — all he ever wanted to do was the right thing. it never occurred to him that doing the right thing could possibly hurt someone he loves.

W/C — 1.5k

NOTES — this is my submission for my own creative campaign lmao 😅 i just got inspired looking at those prompts again, okay? and these are my missing pre-serum!steve hours 😭 and after the week i’ve had, i need some comfort~

prompts used: ✩ geranium = returning joy ✩ plumeria = “well, this is new.” ✩ zinnia = mourning your absence

Bucky had been wrong. 

His best friend predicted that you would be thrilled to see the new him. After all, the girls at the SSR couldn’t seem to stay away, nor could the flight nurses out on the frontlines, no matter how many times he told them he had a girl back home and just wasn’t interested. 

Howard was the only one who knew well enough to warn him; given how Steve had left things with you before he took off on his tour across the country, he shouldn’t expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows when he got back. 

The two of you had fought, the biggest one in the history of your relationship, and hadn’t spoken to each other in days before he had to leave. His efforts to lie his way into the army was always a source of friction between you, and this, being selected as the subject for Project Rebirth, was just another straw on the camel’s back. 

Steve knew you were just afraid for him, as anyone who mattered to him would be, but it was something he knew he had to do. Unfortunately he couldn’t be convinced, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t also terrified of facing the consequences. 

“Be prepared to grovel, Rogers, like you’ve never done before,” Howard warned, giving him a grave look before waving him off. “Hell hath no fury.” 

So, he showed up at your door only days before he had to leave for Italy, holding a bouquet of flowers and shuffling nervously on his feet as he waited. Steve didn’t know what to say when you opened the door, feeling a little awkward himself at nearly two feet taller and about a hundred fifty pounds heavier. 

You stared at him for a moment, almost as if you didn’t recognize him. 

“Hi,” he said sheepishly, giving you a hesitant but hopeful smile. You looked like you might reel back and punch him, no doubt still angry about the way things went down and how he’d returned to you looking like an entirely different man, but then your face crumpled. 

There were downsides to the serum, he realized, as he could smell the salt of your tears before they even reached your lashes. He leaned down, bending at the waist, something he never had to do before, letting you wrap your arms around his widened shoulders. He could taste the relief in your tears as he kissed them away. 

In the hours that followed, however, you remained distant. He caught you staring thoughtfully at him from across the kitchen, only to quickly avert your eyes when he looked up from the hearty dinner you made him. 

You pulled away subtly when he reached for your hand or the soft dip of your waist, flinch when he moved to kiss your cheek, and returned all his dumb jokes with tight smiles. 

“Well, this is new,” he grinned softly as he stepped behind you, his chest firm against your back, grabbing a jar on a high shelf that you were struggling to reach. 

It took you a few moments too long to turn towards him, your lips curving upwards ever so slightly but it never quite touching the rest of your features. 

Even when he lay next to you that night, it felt like you were miles away. He was leaving soon, all the way to Italy and then to god knows where else, and he didn’t want to leave things this way. He didn’t want to go yet, not while he was uncertain about whether you’d welcome him back next time. 

But as always, it’s like you hear the thoughts in his head without him ever needing to speak them. It’s why this works; he broods and you see through him, as though you have a map directly to his heart. 

“It feels strange,” you confess in hushed tones, the two of you lying in the darkness of your bedroom. When the two of you touch, it feels foreign. You feel guilty, as though you were somehow being unfaithful to a version of him that would never come back. 

“I know,” he says, reaching for you. His heart sinks when you pull away. He lays there in silence, his enhanced vision capturing you so clearly in the dark, staring up at the ceiling as your bottom lip quivers. 

“You took him from me,” you whisper, eyes shining so brightly with anguish in the moonlight. It takes a moment for him to realize what you mean. He can hear the tears sliding down your temples and dripping onto the pillow. 

All he ever wanted to do was the right thing. It never occurred to him that doing the right thing could possibly hurt someone he loves. 

“I’m still me,” he murmurs, his fingers desperate to wipe them away, his arms itching to find their place around you once again. 

“To everyone else, even to you, he was always just that scrappy little nobody from Brooklyn. But to me?” You are weeping now, your voice thick with grief even though he’s right next to you. “To me, he was everything. I don’t want Captain America. I want Steve. My Steve.” 

Steve swallows hard. You always were the only one who did. 

“He’s still here,” he pulls you close and this time, you don’t fight him. You fold yourself against him, crying harder when you are met with the hard sharp planes of his new body, instead of his usual soft edges that always seemed to embrace you right back. “I’m right here.” 

He lets you cry into his chest until, after what seems like hours, you finally drift off into an uneasy sleep, the front of his shirt still damp with your despair. 

But it doesn’t take much longer to find a new normal. 

He still smiles at you the same way as the day you met, a little sheepish and a little shy even after all this time. 

He still does that thing where he intertwines his fingers with yours, his touch a little evasive, teasing you a bit before finally pressing your palms together. 

He still holds you for as long as you need, always letting you be the first one to pull away. 

He still quietly fills the pages of sketchbooks that he hides on your bookshelf. 

He still eats so slowly, taking his time at your dining table because even a slightly bigger portion than normal used to make him sick. 

He still looks at the most terrible parts of humanity and decides that the world is worth saving. 

You slowly get used to the fact that he can reach the higher cabinets in your kitchen now, that he no longer falls ill at each turn of the season, and that while you will never get to see your Steve again—even though you think of him often—this Steve is right: he never really left. 

And when you’ve forgiven him, because there really was no question about it, when you’re ready to give yourself to him again, you’re both a bit nervous and awkward. 

It takes a little bit of dancing to get used to each other’s bodies again; you’re much smaller compared to him now, and he’s afraid he’ll forget his newfound strength and inadvertently hurt you somehow. 

But, much like you did before when he was small and inexperienced, he guides you and you eagerly follow. He lets you come to him, allows you to set the pace and boundaries of how far you’re willing to go, and he always looks at you the same. He even says it again—

“I can’t believe you’re here with me,” he croaks, so close you can smell his aftershave. 

It’s moments like these when you fully realize that while the serum changed him on the outside, it never touched what was inside. As always, he handles you with the utmost care, pulling you cautiously onto his lap, his hands gently cradling either side of your face as he drinks you in, eyes darting back and forth across your face before he finally leans in to kiss you. 

His eyes never once leave yours, even as you abandon your dress and undergarments on the bedroom floor. His fingertips slide down your sternum in a featherlight touch, down the valley between your breasts, before turning his hand over to brush his knuckles lightly over your rib cage, raising goosebumps in his wake. 

You stare into his familiar eyes, the ones that fill your vision with the clearest blue��as if you’re looking into a cloudless summer sky, just like the day you met the boy with a heart ten sizes too big for his chest—and you sigh in relief. 

“There you are,” you purr against his lips. 

His lips stretch into a smile, coaxing yours into doing the same. He remembers a promise he’d made to someone else not that long ago, and he promises it again—to you this time. 

That you will stay who you are. 

That he will never lose your Steve. 

fin.

© 2024 by thereoncewasagirlnamedjane

[theemissuniverse]

“DIFFERENT WORLD” RAIDEN X GRUMPY FEM!READER (GRUMPY X SUNSHINE)

SUMMARY : of the HIGHEST keys based on that one episode of that 70s show. If you know then you know. But basically Raiden’s date talks shit about him and you punch her and then you and raiden go on a date

WARNINGS : (MDNI)! unsafe p in v, cumming inside, f receiving oral, sub!raiden, softdom!reader, dirty talk, face riding, slight breeding kink, maybe some other stuff I forgot

A/N: it’s so hard to write smut when you’re not in the mood lmao

MASTERLIST

Raiden had the biggest crush on you. It was obvious to you and everyone but in his defense, he was trying to get over you.

In Outworld, Empress Mileena was having an event at the palace so you and your Earthrealm friends were invited.

Raiden had actually brought a date. Her name was Stacy and she was the newest recruit to the Wu Shi Academy.

You couldn’t stand their relationship. Something inside of you hated the thought of Raiden being with another woman.

But why did you care? You didn’t even like him. (Or so you thought.)

Raiden excused himself from the group. He gave Stacy a kiss on the cheek and walked away to speak to Liu Kang.

It was just you and Stacy with your fellow Earthrealm friends behind you a little ways. “So, you and Raiden huh?” You asked, trying to be nice.

Stacy smiled at you. “Yeah isn’t he something?”

The tone she had was condescending. You didn’t like it. “Sure.”

“It’s just sometimes, I kinda hate it when he talks. He’s like so overly nice.”

You laughed understanding where she was coming from. “Yeah, I hear you on that one.”

Stacy shrugged a little. “I mean but I figure it’s all worth it if he buys me whatever I want.”

That statement kind of bothered you. Even though Raiden was annoyingly nice, you didn’t think he deserved for someone to use him. “You gotta think about that. I mean, Raiden doesn’t really get into relationships-“

“That’s not surprising.” Stacy told you. When you looked at her confused, she laid it out clear as day for you. “I mean, he’s an idiot.”

Something about that bothered you. You had no idea why it bothered you so much. The way she insulted Raiden made your skin boil.

You felt your fist clench into a ball. That’s when you knew you couldn’t stop your anger. “Ah no…”

Stacy looked at you confused. You had took one step back and then a step forward. You swung your fist in the air and connected it with her face.

She fell to the ground. Knocked out cold. Your Earthrealm friends that were around you looked at you and gasped. “Holy shit…” Johnny said.

Raiden came back to the scene and you mentally cursed at yourself. “(Y/N), what happened?!”

You were still in shock that you had actually done that. “Just somebody…and the girl said ‘idiot’ then it was nothing.”

Raiden looked at Stacy and then back at you trying to piece it together. He then let out a short gasp as he had mentally put the puzzle pieces together. “She called me an idiot and you hit her didn’t you?”

You looked at him full of regret at what you had just did. You did not want to make it known that you had punched a girl for Raiden. “No…” Raiden was smiling like a school kid in love. You rolled your eyes and pushed past him. “Move.”

You did not have feelings for him. You couldn’t.

You made it to the buffet. Mileena was standing right next to you. “(Y/N), I saw what happened. Is your lover okay?”

When she had said that, you turned to her annoyed. “My lover?”

“Yeah that infuriatingly humble one you’re always hanging around with.” She tried to think of the name and it suddenly came to her. “Oh. Raiden.”

This could not be happening. “He’s not my ‘lover’, Empress.”

“Are you sure?”

The fact that Mileena of all people was saying this annoyed you to no end. “Yes I’m sure. I don’t like him. He’s humble, and nice, and caring, and too sunshine’s and rainbows. He’s everything that I hate.”

Mileena looked at you as if she didn’t understand. “But (Y/N), I thought you hated everything.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“Well maybe it means you like him because I kinda think you do.”

You were putting your foot down with this. There was no way in a million years that you could ever like Raiden. The two of you weren’t compatible at all. “No. How could I like him? Because I don’t like him. Because I can’t like him. Empress Mileena, if I like him-stab me.”

Mileena took out her sai that was in her waistband and motioned to you. “Which arm do you wish for me to stab?”

You gave her a very irritated look. No. You were gonna prove you did not have feelings for Raiden. One way or another.

You marched away from the buffet and walked over to Raiden and the rest of your Earthrealm friends. Stacy was nowhere to be in sight. “Raiden come on. We’re going on a freaking date.”

Raiden choked on the drink. All your Earthrealm friends turned to you in shock. Kung Lao patted Raiden’s back to help the drink go down more smoothly. “I’m sorry. What did you say?” Raiden asked as he could not believe you had said it.

“Come on before I change my mind.” You did not need to tell Raiden twice. Raiden was immediately out his seat and rushing out the palace with you.

You and Raiden were actually back in Earthrealm. Raiden had made suggestions where the two of you could go out on the way and he tried to pick the most romantic places he possibly could.

Obviously you were not into that at all and instead you settled with watching a movie at your place. Raiden did not refuse.

You didn’t even know if this was going to work. The two of you were complete opposites. How would this ever work?

The two of you watched the horror movie and ate the popcorn in the bowl. You guys had barely spoke.

“This is the best date I’ve ever been on.” Raiden said.

When he had said that, you gave him a look. “Raiden, we haven’t talked for thirty minutes.”

Raiden shrugged, not bothered. “That’s okay. I don’t mind. I understand you.”

You raised a brow at him. “Oh? You understand me?”

He nodded. “You’re probably thinking…I can’t believe I’m giving this idiot a chance. The guy that really, really likes me. And you’re probably wondering…how could this ever work? We’re completely different. Maybe he’ll break my heart.”

Everything he had said was true. Up until the last part. You sighed some and leaned back a little. “Maybe I’ll break your heart.” Raiden turned to look at you when you said that. “Raiden, I’m tough. I’m not really the ideal girlfriend you bring home to mom and dad and…I’m selfish, I’m cold, and sometimes I just completely shut down. You won’t be able to handle it.”

Raiden stayed silent. He grabbed your hand and rubbed it gently. “I think you’re being too hard on yourself.” You looked at his hand on yours. Raiden saw your eyes and thought you were uncomfortable. So he took his hand away. “I’m sorry.”

Secretly, you liked the way Raiden was so sweet. Especially towards you. It was a relief to your cold nature.

You scooted closer to Raiden. You grabbed his arm and made him wrap the arm around you shoulders. Raiden smiled at you. “Don’t get too happy.”

Raiden chuckled and turned back to the movie. “Never.”

The two of you continued to watch the movie. Raiden had jumped at a jump scare, spilling the popcorn. You had laughed at him. “You’re such a wuss.”

Raiden cleared his throat, adjusting himself. “I am not.”

“Yes you are. Earthrealm’s champion can’t handle a scary movie?”

“It was surprising not scary.”

“Whatever you say.”

Raiden’s smile did not break. “You know, the more you talk the more annoyed I get.”

You gasped at him, hitting him in his chest. “I am not annoying. You’re annoying.”

“I don’t think so.”

The two of you stared into each others eyes. It was like time had stopped. Raiden cupped the left side of your face as he stared into your eyes like he was seeing your soul.

He had looked more beautiful to you than any other time you had seen him and you couldn’t explain why.

The two of you leaned in and kissed.

Raiden tasted like sweet chapstick and buttery popcorn. It was addicting. You had brought your own hand to reach for the back of his neck and pulled him deeper.

The sweet kiss you two shared quickly turned sloppy. You took the lead and were licking over his bottom lip and biting on it.

Raiden moaned at you biting on his lip. You started to suck his bottom lip and when you released, it made a ‘popping’ noise.

The two of you pulled away and just looked at each other.

That was the best kiss you ever had.

You immediately removed the popcorn from his lap and placed it on the table. You then got on top of his lap and started to make out with him then.

Raiden’s hands snaked up along side your back. You kissed him full of anticipation and hunger. The hat he wore knocked off of him.

Your hips started to grind into Raiden’s private and he groaned at the sensation. “Wait a second.” Raiden pulled away from your lips and looked at you. “Are we really doing this?”

“Do you not want to?”

“No, no, no. I do.” When he said that, you started to kiss his neck. “I just want to make sure-oh-that you want to.”

“Yes. One hundred percent.” You pulled away from his neck and went to take your shirt off. When you did it left you in your red bra.

Raiden stared at you like you were the only woman in the world. He felt his mouth become watery. His hands rested on your hips as you grinder them into him. He threw his head back in pleasure.

You moaned a little as your clit felt some friction through your shorts.

Raiden picked you up and laid you on the couch so he was on top of you. He gripped onto your shorts and looked at you for confirmation. “Is this okay?” You nodded to him and he took them off of you. Then he took your underwear off.

He licked his fingers making sure they were really wet before placing the fingers against your clit. He was surprised to see you were already wet for him.

“If you say some cheesy line of how I’m already wet for you, I’m gonna stab you.”

He chuckled at what you said and just started to rub your clit in circles. You moaned at him. Raiden moved slow but effective.

Raiden leaned down and kissed you on the lips. You moaned in his mouth. He felt himself grow in his pants but he wasn’t concerned with himself at the moment. He was concerned with you.

His lips went to your neck and you moaned at how sweet he was kissing you. Like you were made of glass.

You didn’t want to wait for Raiden anymore. You wanted him now. “I’m ready. Come on.”

Raiden stopped rubbing your clit and stuck his fingers in your pussy to check for a reaction if you were tight. When he didn’t receive one, he pumped his fingers just a little before taking them out of you. Then he licked all over his fingers.

He found your taste to be delicious. He wasn’t expecting for you to taste that good.

Instead of Raiden undressing himself, he went in between your legs and started to eat you out.

You gasped at the sudden feeling of Raiden’s tongue on your throbbing pussy. He did slow like licks before mercilessly sucking your clit like he was in love with you.

Your hand’s immediately pulled at his hair. He was sucking your swollen clit so much that you were trying to pull away from him.

Raiden held your thighs to keep you in place. He was moaning at the taste of you and Raiden moaning in between your legs made you moan.

“Raiden. Oh god.”

He kept eating you as if it was his last meal. He couldn’t get enough. Raiden needed more.

The champion pulled out from your heat and looked up at you. “Sit on my face.”

You were a little stunned by his request. You definitely weren’t expecting that. Especially with his shy nature. “What?”

“I want you to sit on my face.” Raiden repeated like he said the most normal thing in the world.

You blinked a little but followed his request. You stood up from the couch and Raiden laid down on his back. Then you hovered your pussy over his face.

You were a little scared that you were gonna crush him but Raiden forced you to sit fully on him. His hands rested on your ass and thighs and he began to eat you out again.

This was a position you were not familiar with but you loved it none the less. Raiden had more access to slurp all your juices.

Your nails gripped onto the couch. Raiden was eating you like he was going to die the next day. Again, Raiden was moaning at the taste of your pussy.

He moved down some. Then he grabbed your hips and positioned your body where your clit could be in contact with his nose and he made you ride his face.

You gasped slightly at this. You tried to help him as much as you could but the sensitivity you had with your clit that was constantly pushing up against Raiden’s nose was too much.

Raiden noticed this and did mainly all of the work. He guided your hips to rock back and forth constantly. “Oh my god. Raiden. Please.”

He moaned at your begging. That gave him enough motivation. He was going to make you cum all over his mouth.

Riding his face was sending you over the top. You felt the feeling come into your stomach. “Oh my god. Please Raiden. I’m almost there.”

He didn’t break his pace and kept going. Hoping you would cum all in his mouth. When your clit hit his nose the last time, it was over. “Oh yes. Yes. Yes.”

Raiden kept grinding your hips onto his face until you were done with your orgasm. Though he didn’t stop. He kept licking every part of you even when you were done.

You shuddered at the sensitivity. “No more.” You got up from his face and stood up.

Raiden was slightly disappointed as he still wanted to eat you out. He sat up on the couch. You bent down in front of him and started to take his pants off. “What are you doing?”

“Playing the harmonica.” You stated sarcastically. When you pulled off his pants, you were about to take his underwear off but he stopped you.

“I’m okay.”

You gave him a look. He didn’t want you to give him head? You took his underwear off anyway. Then you sat on his lap. “Well I want to ride you. Is that okay with you?”

Before he could even get a word in, you slid your pussy on his dick. Raiden moaned at the sensation of your pussy clutching onto him like a glove.

You gave him a few kisses on the lips and then started to move on him. Raiden gripped onto your hips and helped you move on top of him. “Oh my. (Y/N).”

You went a bit faster on him. Raiden was in a panting mess. So much so that he couldn’t even concentrate on you moving on him anymore. “That’s right baby. Say my name.”

Raiden didn’t know he was going to be this much of a moaning mess under you. He thought he could be at least slightly dominant but he couldn’t. He was completely and utterly submissive to you.

The more your pussy clenched on him, the closer Raiden felt to his release. “(Y/N). Just like that. Don’t stop.”

“Aw, you wanna cum baby?”

“Please. Please, (Y/N).”

“Tell me how much you need me and I’ll think about it.”

Raiden should’ve known you would do this to him. His grip on your hips softened up as he was a complete mess under you. “I need you so bad. Please, (Y/N). I need to.”

You kissed all over his neck and sucked on all his sweet spots. He moaned loudly at all your touches. “So needy.” You said in his neck.

Raiden felt a little embarrassed because you had just started and he was already almost there. “Oh gods. I can’t.”

“Yes you can baby. Go ahead and cum in me. Make me a mama.”

That sent Raiden over the edge. He moaned loudly as he came hard. You rode him completely until he was done cumming.

You got up from him. You grabbed your panties and started to put them on.

Raiden sat there for a moment and looked at you curiously. “So does that mean…?”

“Yes, we’re together.” You placed your shirt over your head. “I don’t do flowers, hand holding, and don’t get me anything romantic.”

Raiden was excited that you were actually giving him a chance. He started to pull his underwear and pants up. “Got it.”

“Good.” When you finished putting your clothes on, you looked at him. “Also, I’m getting a Plan B. I was just chatting about being a mama.”

Raiden chuckled a little. “I figured.”

This relationship would be interesting…

[lyss-sketchbox]

Ok coming off anon because I'm trying to conquer the constant social anxiety lmao (same person who sent you Longass Thoughts on Natlan AQ) - SO YEAH personally I like Ei's character but foaming a bit at the mouth because I feel like my favorite parts of her character (namely she was NOT ready to be the archon when makoto kicked the bucket, she's got that good ol' warrior-weapon mindset knocking around in there- having her actually confront the ugly truth of the consequences of her actions was such a missed opportunity. it would've been SO good to see her actually get confronted personally without any sugarcoating. i think her learning to be less of a shitty archon would've been so much better then)

also like. im sure there were a lot of ways to improve Inazuma's story but personally i thought it would've been cooler if kokomi was a bit more. morally grey lmao. like willing to do not-so-nice things to fight god because that's what they're doing. mortals attempting to defy the god that holds dominion over their land (bc the electro archon isn't really Watatsumi's god specifically!! bc uh lmao ei killed him lol)

but yea for real in natlan every "serious problem" was severely undercut by "actually it's all good now" like "kachina is totally fine after being chased by the abyss in the afterlife, she was protected by the wayob so it's all good and she's also mentally ok" and it's like what. what are you talking about.

AND THE ARchON thing i feel like im the only one who has a gripe. tbf the story is not done yet BUT MY QUESTION IS CELESTIA ALLOWED A HUMAN (MULTIPLE EVEN) TO ASCend to the divine throne???? Like what??? IT feels like it runs counter to everything-

and like uh feels like we got really really far away from like. when you talk about the archon war in liyue it was a literal bloodbath. sacrifices upon sacrifices were made, the modern day liyue was built upon the corpses of friend and foe alike because there was no other choice. you couldn't abstain, you would die.

but in natlan???? no gods??? what???? im just losing it more than a bit over here that natlan is trying simultaneously to be a grim land of constant war but also sunshine friendship and rainbows.

at this point im prepared to be disappointed and just crossing my fingers the good writing comes back for snezhnaya's AQ bc if they fuck up snezhnaya i will literally never forgive them

Its all good man, youre so welcome to debate and talk off anon, we may disagree but never hate.

Im putting all my ramblings under cut since its gonna be as equally long and spoilery hdjsnsn

About Ei

I completely forgot about how Ei was originally a kagemusha, a weapon for her sister, her sister did all the archon work while Ei simply stood by her side. Its makes perfect sense that after the death of her sister, she would make very bad not thought out decisions and because she is an archon now, those bad decisions has really really bad aftermaths.

I personally do not have any gripes about her being basically clueless about the outside world. Grief manifests in different ways and locking yourself away and justifying it as a twisted way to gain enlightment of eternity the way your sister did, it can make sense. It is a consequence!! She is clueless of how to be an archon and what is going on in her nation, her SQ could have been used to show her trying to understand and emphatize with her people to be a better archon. NOT A REASON TO MAKE HER AN uwu sad defenseless waifu cant cook and doesnt know anything. Brother she fucking killed people and almost destroyed her nation.

About Kokomi

I like the idea of morally grey kokomi actually. It makes alot of sense. Kokomi and the watatsumi people might have some vishap descendance but they are still humans, even less so with visions. Theyre also lacking the supplies and expertise needed to continue a war with an entire nation and its archon. It would make sense that she would accept the fatuis help since they share the sentiment of 'getting to inazuma and its archon'.

But it was shown she wasnt even aware who the anonymous donor is, hell she wasnt aware people where using delusions until people starts dying. And for a girl who wrote an entire guide book with 100 different alternate plans, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING...............

About Natlan's system

Yeah they really brushed off the dying part and potentially being stuck in genshin limbo if you dont get out in time too casually. The tiny child you retrieved from limbo also is... very chill and not mentally scarred or anything, she wasnt putting up a brave face, she was simply unaffected?????? One on kachina's voiceovers is gonna talk about her death but im not friendship 4 with her yet. I hope it explains SOMETHING.

Yeah the first time i heard that the archon was human and has been replaced multiple times had me gawking too, i can excuse that Celestia has been strangely inactive FOR NOW.

I wanted to bring up how the hydro archon throne being broken and Neuvi regaining his sovernity didnt even call Celestia to action but GUESS WHAT??? I DONT KNOW IF NATLAN HAPPENED BEFORE OR AFTER FONTAINE BECAUSE THEY DECIDE TO LOWER THE REQUIREMENTS TO DO NATLAN AQ!!!!!!! But well if it happened after (since Neuvis end dialogue told us to go to Natlan next), well... Celestia isnt called either so theyve just been inactive for 500 years of Natlans weird system ig.

About the """Nation of War"""

Yeah man. Sacrifices and war was dealt better in liyue. Same as Natlan, it is a nation built of war. There was war in the past, sacrifices were made to built the liyue we know now. But the sacrifices in liyue was not brushed off or belittled, those sacrifices had meaning and the people of liyue hold very high regards for the fallen. In Natlan? Its treated like some sort of sick hunger games event, they made war into entertainment.

Oh but they need the tournaments to keep the natlan fire alive. THEN RUN A SEPERATE FUCKING TOURNEY?????? MAKE EVERYONE WHO HAS AN ANCIENT NAME HAVE PROPER TRAINING AND GO TO WAR IN ARMIES PROPER???? THIS SHIT DOESNT NEED TO BE ENTERTAINMENT AND YET YOU DID. Maybe the flames are small BECAUSE YOU PICK ONLY 5 PEOPLE EVERYTIME WHEN THERES LITERALLY NO REASON VETERANS LIKE KINICH AND MUALANI TO SIT IT OUT JUST BECAUSE THEY LOST.

Oh but the ode of resurrection only works on limited people THEN SEND OUT THE BEST PEOPLE THEN???????? MUALANI, A 3 TIMES VETERAN, LOST TO KACHINA. CLEARLY THE TOURNEYS ARENT RELIABLE TO PICK WHO TO SEND.

While i can understand that while Liyue is past war and Natlan is still in war, this is... not how people in war act. The entertainment the happiness the hospitality. Its not efforts to keep morale high its literally just... happy people, sometimes they get attacked by abyss monsters yeah cool but otherwise theyre completely happy just living like that. Thats why the Nation of War thing isnt working at all, these people are not how people STILL IN WAR act. Theres no anxiety no uncertainty no worry at all, not even a smidget. These people live like happy prospering people.

You know what happened to people tryna be happy prospering people while still in war in liyue? Havria.

I hope they bring back the high AR requirement for snezhnaya so snezhnaya can be chronologically correct. I hope they take snezhnaya seriously. I hope Natlan atleast wont pull an inazuma and tripped at the very end

NONE OF THAT POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BS EITHER I didnt believe it when mualani fucking knocked it over our heads over and over and over again and its not gonna work now.

[rook-specter]

this may turn into a HUUUUUUUGE essay but I kinda don't like people infantilizing the Bard/Kiwi.

Kiwi isn't the best example of nice characters being mischaracterized in fandom, because Wandersong is sorta niche, but it's still something I wanna get off my chest.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘���⊱⋅•⋅

this is NOT an essay on getting you to like Kiwi if you don't like them already, because I'm not gonna judge you for that. I'm not gonna shame you for your opinions. everyone has different blorbos, and we don't have to get into arguments about them. this is just an essay about how much I love them, how people characterize them, and a small tangent about fandom culture as well.

I think it's become abundantly clear that a lot of characters appeal to me. mostly mentally ill characters, like Cabby, Siffrin, or even Kiwi. not only that, but I've also noticed that I tend to gravitate towards characters that are either demonized or infantilized by the fandom.

and seeing that Kiwi is the "nice character", you can definitely see where I'm going here.

and don't worry! I am NOT generalizing Wandersong fans here! I've actually seen a lot of good takes on Kiwi! so there's some good, and some bad, so it's a fine mixed bag! and I'm not saying you have to know EXACTLY how Kiwi's brain works to talk about them! you can just say "I like them cuz they're funny and silly" and it wouldn't change a thing.

"nice characters" in media usually don't get the best treatment in fandom. they'll either be seen as boring, and glossed over compared to the more brash characters, they'll be demonized for something they did that was "not so nice", or their traits will be watered down to the point where the fans are practically infantilizing them.

why do I bring this up? well, I'm part of a Wandersong blog group here on Tumblr, and there's two (three if you count @/lil-vaalroc-bard, aka Concord, from Cosmicsong, an AU that I wanna talk about here sometime) Kiwis on there. @/universally-loved-bard and @/just-a-bard. I'm gonna call the former "Kiwi A", and the latter "Kiwi B" for clarity.

these two blogs characterize Kiwi quite differently. I'm not gonna give Kiwi B any flak, because I don't think infantilizing Kiwi was their goal at all, but the mod for Kiwi A gets quite a lot of flak for "mischaracterizing" Kiwi, which I think is sort of unfair.

the most compelling thing about Kiwi is that they're not the most well-put-together. they're NOT all sunshine and rainbows! remember when Audrey killed the Chaos Queen, and Eyala not being good at the one thing she's meant to do (which is a topic for another day), making Kiwi think that they're useless? AND THEN AUDREY INJURES THEM WITH A ZAP FROM HER SWORD??????

and then there's Chismest, where Kiwi spends most of their time there despondent as all hell, and you're not gonna acknowledge that???

and then there's Miriam getting injured! and Kiwi having to deal with that!

and then, there's the cave-in with Audrey, where Kiwi shows a side of them that NOBODY has seen before. THEY. DO. COERCION. they threaten Audrey that if she doesn't promise to be nice and NOT kill the Overseer, then THEY'LL LEAVE HER TO DIE IN A CAVE.

BUT THEN SHE KILLS THE OVERSEER ANYWAY.

and then, Eyala appears, and Kiwi felt like they were getting LIED to!! (mostly because Eyala is bad at the one thing she's meant to do but sssshhhh I'll do an essay about that some other time)

AND THEN WHEN THEY TRIED TO REDEEM AUDREY AGAIN, SHE KILLED THE LAST OVERSEER.

AND THEN THEY SAW THE WORLD NEARLY GET DESTROYED.

so yeah! they've been through a lot, johnathan!

I'm one of the few people that don't see the characterization of Kiwi A as out-of-character!

because if you're ignoring EVERYTHING that happened to them, I kinda feel like you're infantilizing them!

in conclusion Kiwi is super cool n stuff lmao I'm gonna go back to rping. sorry for yelling

[wegonbealright-09]

Well suga said "let's go #1 BB" not jk. And even if everyone is fully entitled to their opinion, at least be aware that this is more a problem of perspective than fact. All RM said was that he wanted to work harder so he could make the fandom proud and maybe get similar numbers, that's not being bitter towards anyone, it's being honest about what you feel and what you want. I have no idea what suga did that makes him bitter to your eyes. Regarding Tae's distance, everyone knows that they don't publish everything on social media and they have mentioned several times that they talk in their group chat. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and just because you have a perception doesn't make it a reality.

You're civil girl I'll give you that one. Well I've already answered this asked I just didn't save it and now I'm re typing it I'm so mad rn.

Okay so Suga didn't say "let's go 1 on BB 100" he simply said he has a good feeling blah blah and jk said what you've quoted. And yes you're right it's his opinion and he's entitled to it. But why the sudden obsession with that milestone girl you have to be honest between you and I we know that jk wouldn't have even dreamt about that no1 If jimin had not achieved it first but now that jimin has it he's got to have one for himself also. Lmao when did releasing music become about charts and stuff. You can see the desperation the need you might be blind but I ain't

RM is bitter yes I've said it I admit it. I'm not backtracking because it is the truth. Get similar numbers to who? I'm not laughing I swear. He meant to say get more numbers. If you tryna get similar numbers you in a competition with someone else you tryna get the same number as them that ain't no motivation and he himself had said it is hard to not be jealous blah blah but jimin is the one who always reminds of him the importance of the group blah blah I don't remember the exact words. And recently RM has felt the need to be acknowledged, to be credited for every little thing like" yhea it's me I helped him did that, I did this and that" for me those are signs of being insecure. Like Harry topped the BB 100 on no1 for 15 weeks not once has he posted about it so you tell me. Y'all just have to read between the lines sometimes. I don't even know what I'm saying is making sense or not cause I'm tired just came back from the library and all I want to do is to sleep.

As for Suga he's been bitter, he is bitter I won't even try to justify myself nor substantiate my statement it is what it is

As for Tae lmao that man had the time of the day to post about jk's single but could not even make a single IG story about his soul mates debut, his mile stone achievement, his album but he did post jhope's in the street so I guess his privateness is selective. If when you look at BTS you see rainbows sunshine's and clouds that's up to you. But you can't deny the fact that there's been a shift in the groups energy

[reilliane]

Little Brother ⊱⊰ Kazuha

A/N: This isn't the sequel for Vigil, but a series of scenarios that I couldn't add to the ficlet since it was getting too long- ehe

➸ Vigil (Ficlet) Honor (Sequel)

✤ she/her

≿————-　★　————-≾

The most adorable little brother ever! His cheeks are round and chubby—and they're always flushed pink!

Totally not because you keep pinching them until he cries- no, totally not, mm-mm.

His childhood days aren't complete until he says 'nee-san' at least once. The poor child is getting bullied by Tomo a lot too, so who does he come running to for help!?

"Onee-chan! Tomo- T-Tomo- waaAAAH! NEE-SANNN!"

Goodness, growing up flipped a switch in his personality but that's a talk for later

If you aren't holding his hand as you two walk around the Kaedehara Estate, he's in your arms like a literal bb

If he's not in your arms then he is sitting on your shoulders, giddily exclaiming that he is as tall as you are [even if he'll eventually grow to be taller-]

Kazuha clings to you. Nee-san must always be in his sight or else he'll either be (っ- ‸ – ς) or (ಠ╭╮ಠ)

Yeah, he's definitely more (ಠ╭╮ಠ)

"Nee-chan, stop hiding from me!"

Will lowkey get frustrated about it even if he's the one who wanted to play hide and seek lmao-

You understand why Tomo bullies him, he's cute. If your little brother hasn't found you in the course of ten minutes, he will cry for you

Even when you appear, his attempts to stop weeping 'because it makes him less of a man' will fail and he'll just look x2 cuter

Mm, everything's not sunshine and rainbows, though

The wealth of the clan has been diminishing as time passes, so naturally, its prestige follows

Since both your parents are occupied with thinking of ways to keep the clan's nobility, most —if not all— of Kazuha's attention is placed on you. His beloved nee-chan o(≧∇≦o)

You pamper him, but not to the point that he becomes spoiled. Disciplining him crumbles your heart [he looks so sad when he's reprimanded] but since it is for his betterment, you still do it. He's a quick learner, too.

Anything for his nee-san. Anything for nee-san!

One time when he sees you being scolded heavily for something that he did, he teared up, ran on his wobbly legs, and punched your father's legs asdfghjkl

"Don't hurt nee-chan!"

Ugh, why is he so adorable. You personally keep him away from other girls his age because they're already giving him the heart eyes- you know for a fact that all that baby fat is going away to be replaced by more defined features when he grows up

So oohlala, when adolescence kicks in and he's suddenly looking sharper? Heavens. The pink envelopes coming in endless. Unfortunately, however, your brother doesn't look interested. You know what caught his fancy?

Roaming. Wandering. Adventuring.

Since the clan is losing its power, no one honestly cares that he is shirking his 'responsibilities'. Sometimes, he goes away and doesn't return for days. Just your typical adolescent, but he's still your sibling. He still calls you nee-san :D

That is until both your parents have passed — until the Kaedehara name lost its status — and you were both alone.

You were eighteen then, but you proved yourself capable of being the heir by pragmatism alone. Earning money for you and your brother, taking over the chores, everything.

During this time, Kazuha had been teaching himself the ways of the blade with Tomo, who offered his help to you whenever he could.

And as you grow up — eventually, Kazuha does, as well.

"Welcome home, how was your walk?" Your sibling, now at the age when you took over the household, smiled.

"Ah, I had to come back for my katana. Do excuse me."

He passed by the dining table that was already set with plates and utensils, heading over to his room. His gentle yet straightforward response befuddled you without a doubt, but it hollowed your chest.

It feels like you're missing something.

"Don't wait up, I'll take longer than usual," he appears back in a rush, arranging the sheathed blade hanging by his waist.

"Oh, at least—"

"I'll see you soon, [Name]!"

His tuff of silver hair vanishes behind the panels — and you are alone.

Ah, this feeling was familiar..

It felt like the night you came upon your parents' unmoving figures.

The smile on your face was bittersweet.

You knew what was missing.

He wasn't calling you 'nee-san' anymore.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

a/n: well that's a way to end a fluffy scenario... ah, i think i'll be making a separate masterlist for scenarios so it doesn't clump. eeee~ thanks for reading!

≿————-　taglist　————-≾

@lehra @melkxsh

[shadow--writer]

Hey, I love your writing! Could you do the MC proposing ask, but with the other 3 characters (asra, muriel, and lucio)? Tysm ^_^

I would be thrilled to! So sorry this took so long I had completed most of it and then gasp NO MOTIVATION >:V

But here it is my love! I’m so glad you love my writing, it makes me so happy to have people enjoy my works! I’ve recently started buying Asra’s route and dragging myself back into the game haha. (the paid choices in their route make everything so much BETTER OMFG)

Requests are still open as well! Please make sure look at my rules lol, three characters MAX! :D

Asra, Muriel and Lucio x MC proposing 

~~~~

Asra

Dead silence for like a straight few minutes. They’re just staring at you with their mouth hanging open

Yeah you’re starting to get a little worried

Did he like...clock out? 

Then he just lights up and tackles you in a hug

The two of you go FLYING. Landing hard which, ouch, but you’re laughing too hard to care 

They’re TRYING to kiss you but with the big grin on their face it isn’t going well for them at ALL

Kissing all of your face, making you giggle

The amount of times they’ve repeated “I love you” while kissing you so softly has you dizzy 

uh yeah he forgets to say yes

Like every one of these morons. He’s too busy crying and holding you like if he let go he’d wake up

but he turns bright red when he remembers he forgot to

ya know

answer you

ofc he says yes. Yadda yadda they're bawling their eyes out again 

More kisses. All over your face, each exposed skin he can get to is getting a kiss goddamnit. 

All the love in his heart and yours is just spilling over as they press their forehead against yours and whisper ‘I love you’

Muriel

uh yeah u broke him. Muriel.exe has stopped responding 

This bitch looks over his shoulder to make sure u weren’t talking to another Muriel you were hopelessly in love with

Nope ur proposing to him 

Annnnnd he’s broken again. Great. Job well done 

oh so slowly he’s gonna start smiling, a little quirk of his lips, to full on grinning as he starts crying 

Little tears then he’s sobbing and laughing because holy SHIT he loves you so fucking much

SWEEPS YOU OFF YOUR FUCKING FEET!

Kisses you so hard all you feel his him and the joy bubbling up will be chef’s fucking kiss let me ASSURE you

Spins you around, holding you like if he let’s go he’ll wake up from a dream 

Of course when he realizes what he’s doing he’ll let out a little wheeze, and turn brightass red

As if you just didn’t,,,,,tell him you wanted to spend your life with him 

Will kiss the tip of your nose softly 

He’s the only one who doesn’t forget to say yes right away love that for him

Gonna hold your hand for the REST of the day. No sir he’s not lettin you go nuh ah

Lucio

Lmao his mind is gonna play wii music for like five minutes straight right after your whole spiel

mhmmm mhmmm you might’ve just killed him on the spot nice going there my friend 

He’s gonna faint if you don’t catch him idk why it’s not like he wasn’t married BEFORE

Dumbass really looks you dead in your fucking eyes and goes: “really? Really really?”

....yes really really 

Also forgets to say yes in the midst of having you dip kiss him 

Is he heavy? Absolutely. Is it worth it? Definitely.

Don’t let him take that kiss places without getting an answer he will be MORTIFIED if he never even fucking said yes

Which he does say

Eventually 

You’re very distracting you know 

He also smudged his eyeliner from crying lmao

Hugs you so hard your ribs crack, knocking you over with another kiss as he says yes

He’s gonna be all sunshine and rainbows for the rest of the day, lighting up each time he remembers you proposed. And he will not shut the fuck up about it lmfao 

[hamsterboos]

Shining in the Darkness

I've had to rework this plot about 3 times because I started this earlier this year and then restarted it a few weeks ago and then re-restarted it yesterday lmao I hope you guys like it

Word Count: 1699

Read on AO3

Rowaelin Month Masterlist

Day 13 of Rowaelin Month Prompt: Florist/Tattoo shop AU

~~~~~~~~

“Ugh,” Aelin groaned, “look at them pretending to be all high and mighty with their all-black, emo, punk tattoo shop.” She turned away from them in annoyance, instead taking in the bright and beautiful flowers around her.

“I mean, I hope you didn’t expect a tattoo shop to be all sunshine and rainbows,” Elide laughed as she wiped down the counter where bouquets were made.

Aelin sent her a withering glance. “You’re only saying that because you’ve been staring at Mr. Tall-and-Dark ever since they started moving in.”

Elide sent her a sweet smile in response. “As if you haven’t been staring at Mr. Tall-and-Blond? Plus, this is the perfect opportunity to go get that tattoo you’ve been talking about for ages.” Elide gasped and suddenly pointed the rag at her, “You should go by and give them a welcome present! It’ll brighten that dreary place up too!”

Aelin glared at her, “Don’t you have some work to do?”

“Uh-huh, sure, kick your favorite cousin out for having such a brilliant idea.”

Aelin rolled her eyes at her, “Aedion’s going to take offense to that. Technically, you aren’t even my cousin.”

“I don’t care, and Aedion can suck it,” Elide cackled. “Go get them one of the potted plants. Probably a succulent or two, since it doesn’t look like they can keep anything else alive,” she said as she walked into the storeroom to take inventory.

Aelin sighed as she turned back around to watch the two men wipe down the clear glass panels and windows of the store. Her floral shop, Kingsflame Florals, was right across from The Cadre, a tattoo shop that was apparently opening tomorrow, and she was understandably frustrated at how everytime she looked out her own shop’s glass panels, she saw the dark and gloomy exterior of The Cadre. There was enough darkness in her own brain over the last few years after her parents had passed away that she didn’t exactly need to see it constantly as soon as she looked out of her shop, but Aelin also knew that it was strictly her problem and that she really couldn’t take it out on the shop owners.

Elide was right, though. The only decent thing about the entire place was the fact that there was a Mr. Tall-and-Blond, except his hair glinted so brightly under the sunlight that it looked almost like platinum silver. Even from across the street, she could see his muscles rippling under his black shirt as he wiped down the windows, (this man did not care about the burning sunlight, and she had no idea how he could bear it), and Aelin could see the vague swirls of a tattoo down his arm and on the back of his neck. If she was being honest, she wanted to go see the design up close, maybe get some inspiration for what she wanted, but did she really want to deal with all that doom and gloom?

As she chewed on her lip, she decided that maybe her parents were worth facing that - and she would never admit it, but Elide was onto something with giving them succulents -, and so she turned back around and picked up one of their potted succulents that was there especially for the store. Aelin grabbed their water sprayer, gave it a few spritzes, fluffed her open hair, smoothed down her blouse, and walked out the store.

“Hey, neighbor,” she called out as she crossed the road. Aelin was definitely feeling slightly intimidated by how black everything was, but she could deal. She was out of her emo-depressed phase after her parents had died, and a black tattoo shop couldn’t change that.

The dark-haired man wasn't there, but the man with the silver hair turned around, and she was weirdly excited to realize that he had bright green eyes. It was like a surprise of sorts - the man who seems to prefer black had silver hair and green eyes, exactly the opposite of his personality. He was incredibly attractive, though. Gorgeous eyes, pretty hair, sharp jawline, and the tattoo swirling up his neck, almost creeping up his jaw.

“Hello,” he responded, a slight tilt to his words thanks to an accent. Aelin blinked at first, trying to remember how to breathe again because holy crap, the man was suddenly even more attractive, and this was so not fair.

She put on her best, charming smile as she responded, “Welcome to the street. Your shop looked a bit too doom-and-gloom so I decided to bring over some flowers from my shop!”

He raised an eyebrow as he looked at the plant in her hands. “Doom and gloom?”

“Well, yeah, your entire shop is black, which is quite an achievement honestly. How do you make something so dark when the front part of the shop is entirely glass which lets all this sunlight in?” she joked, but from the way his lips turned down into a scowl, she figured he didn’t exactly share the same sentiments.

“It’s a tattoo shop,” he stated in a manner-of-fact tone, “so yes, it’s a lot of black.”

“Um, right,” she awkwardly responded, her bravado effectively gone, “I just wanted to come by and give you a succulent to keep at the desk. I’m Aelin, by the way, I own Kingsflame Florals.”

He looked down at the plant again before looking back up at her. “I figured you owned the shop, but I’m Rowan. You can come in, if you want, and show me the prime location for that so it doesn’t look all doom-and-gloom.”

“You’re not going to let that go, are you?”

“Not at all,” he responded with a wry smirk on his face. He opened the door to the shop, and she followed him inside, immediately blasted with the cold air from the air conditioner.

She took the chance to look around the shop, and she was taken aback by the variety of designs posted around the walls. There were the simple designs like flowers, birds, dreamcatchers, and butterflies, while there were also insanely intricate designs of swirls and lines that created abstract art and distinct images, and all of it was just pure talent.

"These designs are beautiful," she breathed, setting the succulent down near the computer.

"Thanks," he replied, leaning an arm against the desk. "Interesting?" he asked, and Aelin could tell from his expression that he expected her to say no.

"Yes, actually," she replied with satisfaction as she watched Rowan's eyes widen slightly. "My cousin says that your shop opening up here is a prime opportunity for me to get the tattoo I've been talking about for ages."

"What’s stopping you from becoming our first customer then?" Rowan asked. Aelin shrugged.

"Lack of inspiration, I suppose?"

"Any ideas about what you want it to be?” Aelin shook her head, to which Rowan continued, “A reason behind getting the tattoo might help with the overall design.”

"We're not that close for me to share that part of my life with you."

"Really? I'd say these past five minutes makes us best friends," he spoke, leaning into her, mischief shining in his eyes.

Stifling a snort, Aelin rolled her eyes. “You should already know my tragic backstory then.”

“Same for you, Ms. Flowers,” he responded.

“No, but you see, I never claimed to be your best friend.”

“Ouch, that hurt,” he responded, a hand covering his heart with fake pain. Aelin’s lips quirked upwards at that with the realization that they had been leaning into each other during that entire conversation, and she was flirting with this man. She hadn’t even noticed how dark everything around her was because within that darkness was this man with bright green eyes that reminded her of pine trees from back home and silver hair that glowed like the moon,

“Fair enough,” she laughed lightly. “It’s for my parents. The shop was actually my mom’s idea for something to keep them busy after they retired, but they, uh, died in a car accident a few years ago. They never got to open it, so I did,” she said, looking out the clear panels to her own shop. It was years of hard work and pain, but she’d gotten through it. “I always wanted to get a tattoo, but now it’s more for them.”

She looked back at Rowan and was surprised to see that there wasn’t any pity shining in his eyes. No, it was understanding and compassion. He understood her decision, and it wasn’t something a lot of people were able to relate to. They would simply pass it off as a nice gesture she wanted to do, but it went deeper than that. It was a way to ensure she would never be separated from her parents, and from the way Rowan had let himself smile genuinely in front of her, she knew he understood.

“The tattoo you were staring at earlier,” he started, pointing a finger at his neck, and Aelin flushed realizing that she hadn’t been as subtle as she thought she was, “is about my wife and daughter that had passed away, also in a car accident. I understand your need to connect to them, so how about I draw something for you? You can take a look at it and make any adjustments as needed, but I can help you start off with something.”

Aelin looked at him, and she slowly exhaled a breath because maybe this was exactly what she needed. “Okay. I wanted it on my ribcage, if that works?”

“Yeah, of course, just be aware that you will have to at least take your shirt off,” he teased, and Aelin was so shocked that she barked out a laugh.

“Wow, Rowan, at least buy my dinner first.”

“Happily,” he replied.

Aelin sent him a bright smile, and she knew that she was never going to live it down from Elide that she had gone to the tattoo shop with the intentions of giving the grumpy men a succulent and had instead left with the man’s phone number and a beautiful tattoo design amazingly created with Old Language letters and a Kingsflame flower.

[wifiwuxians]

I feel like xue yang is a character who would be hesitant to reveal the things he likes to someone or even the things he wants because of course, knowing what someone wants is equal to having leverage over them and is sort of like handing someone a weapon and showing them where to cut to make the most damage. I think that then, considering that, the fact that xue yang disclosed to xxc about the candy and what happened to him as a child (and a qing too, but I think as a child herself, a qing would be indignant about what happened in a way that children are when perceiving injustices, whereas xxc would understand the effect an event like that would have on a child and respond kindly rather than with anger), he's sort of baring his neck to xxc - it's not just candy, it's a euphemism for naivety, for innocence, for a sweetness that xue yang couldn't have - and then xxc's response, giving xue yang the candy, is almost his own tentative form of offering himself to xue yang as a source of kindness, a relief from the pain.

Which is why I think xue yang was so obsessed with bringing xxc back. I dont think it was love at all, rather I think xue yang was almost addicted to xxc and the relief he gave him, much like an addict is addicted to drugs. That relationship was self destructive and more of a facade than anything else, and even while knowing this, xue yang still dared to find solace in something he couldnt have - in this way he mimicked his past self, the child on the road with a hand on the ground and a cart driving towards it with no intentions of stopping.

Ah, this is probably just me rambling, but it's a hot take I guess :)

I don't think it should be a hot take, I think you're onto something! The way I've always seen it has been that, despite how much he says he isn't stuck in the past, he has a desire to live out what he never had but somehow stumbled upon by accident. Does he deserve it? Absolutely not. Will he admit to even wanting it? Absolutely not. And yet it's plain as day.

I'm not sure I'd call it an addiction outright (since I don't wanna give people ANY AMMO LMAO) but it is very, very close. It's the fulfilment of a childhood wish! It's security and hope and a relief from pain. He has someone who cares about him and the life he deserves (or that he thinks he deserves shh) and everything is sunshine and rainbows. His little kid self, buried deep inside and locked away under layers of being a total dick, must be jumping for joy.

And then he blows it all up.

He can't even admit to himself that of course he'd like for things to go back to the way they were, because to do so would be to admit weakness, right? He has to cling to the image of someone who has no care for another and no interest in people outside of what he can use them for.

Omg okay my friend @aoxue and I literally talked about this the other day, how it genuinely could have been anyone. It just happened to be xxc. But like, anyone who showed xy kindness and lenience and patience, who cared for him as a parent or elder sibling would, would've received this twisted loyalty. I mean, jgy supposedly beats him to death and he still calls him a friend, right? It's just part of his character!

But there comes the interesting aspect of the undeniable hatred he has/had for xxc. How does he combat those two things, hating him and everyone like him yet wanting to be cared for? He mellows out for a good while but still doesn't hesitate to douse the coffin home on fire with everyone inside. He's just such a wretched person that he can't even just say, idk, "Hey I'm looking to restore his soul as a personal favor", no, he's still trying to cling to that hatred because let's be real, it hurts a lot less than to have to admit that you killed the only person who kind of cared about you.

"You" being "the person you pretended to be for years" and not "Xue Yang" bc we all know xxc doesn't care about him at all ekfjskcmsg

STILL... Oh no now I'm the one who is rambling. Anyways thank you for the ask! It's refreshing to see a point of view that doesn't rely on romantic love for once and I think you're very correct, and I also think xxc just has such a nurturing presence that it would've been impossible for xy not to end up conflicted about him in some regard

Closing thoughts I guess are that xy as a character within canon is frustrating because you see him have all these chances to just pack it up and be decent and he just throws it all in the trash. He can't even recognize affection within himself. He throws himself and everyone he refuses to admit he cares for under the wheels of that same ox cart from all those years ago, and it sucks.

[butwhatifidothis]

3H and Bleach: Where the Fuck am I

So, I’m finally hunkering down and trying to write out this post lmao. I’ve mentioned here and there how my personal experience with the 3H’s fandom is similar to my experience with the Bleach fandom’s in more than one way, and - look. Like, I get there’s definitely a semi-universal thing that goes on across all fandoms. I don’t mean for this to say that this only happens within these two fandoms, because duh, of course they don’t. But!! This post is partly me wanting to air years long annoyance towards the Bleach fandom that just so happens to coincide with my feelings towards the 3H fandom, sooo... yeah lmao

I’ll probably be skimming over some bits about 3H, since most people who come across this will already be familiar with what I’d be talking about in that regard vs Bleach, so just a heads up

Note: This is gonna talk about Bleach which will spoiler territory (writing this off the cuff so not sure where this is goin’ yet lmao but I know that much), so if you don’t wanna see that then don’t read this post lol, I know for sure I’ll be spoiling something ahhhh... noticeable, lol

Ableism against the mentally ill

Now, most people reading this post will be familiar with the blog and how this very, very much applies to 3H, but for the sake of this post I’ll lay it out anyway with a brief summary

Dimitri and Rhea are both characters within 3H that suffer from severe trauma that heavily impacts their mental state. Both are the sole survivors of a horrific slaughter, with that slaughter redefining who they are and leaving a permanent marker within their minds in some way (Dimitri with having auditory and visual hallucinations, Rhea with having obsessive tendencies towards bringing her mother back from the dead). Specifically in CF, both characters are set up in the plot as antagonists, with both characters having to relive their trauma in some way due to the actions Byleth and Edelgard take against them (for Dimitri, having his home be razed to the ground and everyone he cares for dying around him, for Rhea having someone use her mother’s mutilated remains be used to end her and her race) and express extreme anger towards Byleth and Edelgard before they are killed to progress/end the story

Now, uh, sad shit right? Not exactly fuckin’ happy sunshine rainbows. These two characters are put through the wringer and are then murdered. They are rightfully not the fuckin’ happiest because of what happened to them before and what happens to them within the present story. But we’ve heard it all before: “They were crazy!” “They couldn’t be reasoned with!” “They had to be put down out of mercy because they were too ~far gone~ to live happily!” “They needed to be killed for the good of everyone!” It’s an extremely ableist rhetoric that gets passed around the fandom as though it’s totally fine to directly state that mentally ill people should be put down if they’re deemed a “lost cause.” Especially worrying because. You know. If they are a “”””lost cause”””” then it’s directly and specifically because of actions Byleth and Edelgard take against them. 

But how does this remind me of Bleach? What kind of similar extreme, worrying ableism exists there? Well, let me introduce to best girl a certain character with... a reputation, to say the least:

Meet Momo Hinamori.

Holy shit it’s so weird writing this out because I’ve been wanting to for years but have never worked up the nerve to do it lol

It should be noted, in the Bleach verse there’s two worlds out of three - Soul Society and Hueco Mundo, though I’ll only be talking of the former - that deal with “souls” (the essence within a living human). Souls age far more slowly than human bodies do in terms of body, not necessarily the mind (so a teenage soul will likely behave as such for a long while) so keep in mind that I’m going to be using numbers that may seem weird to someone who hasn’t seen Bleach lol.  With that out of the way, here’s a similar, if longer for context to those who haven’t seen Bleach, summary for Momo’s character as it relevant to this post:

Momo is a character in Bleach that grows a deep admiration towards Sosuke Aizen, a respected captain of the military force called the Gotei 13. She comes to views him as the most important person in her world due to him both noticing and paying direct attention to her as well as saving her and her friends’ lives during a training mission gone wrong while she was younger. Note that “younger” here means 40 years ago from the start of the story. Aizen would praise her all the time, allow her to sleep over in his quarters, would drape his cloaks over her when she looked cold, and would overall treat Momo as though he was his daughter for most of the time we see them interact in the beginning portions of the show. Note that none of this is sexual in nature, nor is it ever implied to be seen as such. That’ll be important later in this post

To make a long story short, Aizen comes to betray her. He stabs her through the chest and shows and tells her that she never meant anything to him, throughout the 40 years they’ve known each other (which, mind, for a soul Momo’s approximate age 40 years is still a noticeable amount of time), and he was only using her to help bolster his image as a loveable captain so that he can hide his plan from everybody that much easier. He did horrible things to Momo - from setting her alarm clock back to a later time so that she would more likely come across his pinned, bloody fake corpse. to framing her childhood friend for the apparent murder and tricking her into fighting that friend, to far later in the series tricking that friend into stabbing her (hypnosis shit, to sum that up) for literally no stated reason - that ended up mentally breaking her. She couldn’t believe that the last four decades were all nothing but lies and she fell into a deep denial about Aizen’s true nature - someone else made him do everything he did, she must have missed something that would have warned her about Captain Aizen’s unfortunate situation that forced Captain Aizen to hurt her and everyone else. This denial would take the majority of Bleach’s entire runtime for her to get over completely, with her having hiccups in her recovery even as she works up the nerve to fight him.

Now, uh, also not the fuckin’ funnest of times to be had here. The deep, long-running mental and psychological manipulation of what approximates as a teenage girl from a trusted older figure is something that is very clearly horrific and bad of the older figure, right? Like, we’re on the same page here on that?

This wouldn’t be in this post if that was the case. No, Momo was the one constantly on fire for what happened to her. She was one of the most hated characters in the western audience, and there were endless jokes about “lol look at Momo, the pincushion!” “Crazy bitch Momo, better watch out!” making fun of her and her trauma relentlessly. If you managed to find a Momo fan in the early 2000′s you should have also bought a lotto ticket because holy fuck, everyone hated her. She acted in a startlingly real if deeply uncomfortable way in regards to years long manipulation and she was lambasted for it. She didn’t immediately get over decades long psychological abuse and she was called useless, weak, a horrible representation of female characters, stupid - you name it, she was likely called it. To this day I still tense up when I hear that someone likes Bleach and they mention Momo at all because I’m always thinking “does this person think this abuse victim is dumb for being abused?”

Dimitri, Rhea, and Momo are all victim-blamed to a disgusting degree in the 3H and Bleach fandoms. Dimitri and Rhea are always hit with “well if Dimitri hadn’t have fought back against Edelgard/Rhea caused the “”tyranical systems” in the first place, nothing would have happened to them!” and Momo was constantly hit with” well, it’s not Aizen’s fault Momo was so clingy to him, what could he have done!” and I get so fuckin’ mad dude.

But for Dimitri and Momo specifically, there’s one thing in particular that caught my attention:

The “Rejection Theories”

This had my head spinnin’ a bit when I first heard it, cuz I had managed to avoid the theory for a while in the 3H’s fandom, but apparently a sizeable amount of people seem to believe that Dimitri wasn’t just mad at Edelgard in the Holy Tomb because of... you know *waves hand* fuckin’ everything, but that the primary reason for his anger was that Edelgard... rejected his advances to her? And that the dagger he gave to her when they were 13 was a phallic symbol of baby Mitri’s want to have sex with Edelgard? And. Like. What in the fuck are you talking about. 

But like?? Bleach did this shit too with Momo?? It was also a sizeable amount of people - not everyone, but a noticeable amount - that believed that Momo was just mad that Aizen wouldn’t sleep with her? You’d see it pop up in fics so often, that Momo would want Aizen to fuck her and she’d “go crazy” when he denied her and Momo was actually just this shallow bitch who wanted a good fuck like... what.

Like, when I first heard the Phallic Dagger take the first thing that came to mind is “wait Momo was also accused of just wanting to have sex with the person who traumatized her wtf” 

“Actually it was the perpetrators that should be forgiven because lonely and also some shit about ruling better”

Those in the 3H fandom know how often the “Edelgard was lonely!” line gets thrown by just about every one of her stans. Edelgard was lonely and couldn’t trust anyone, so of course she did what she did! If she had someone near her she could trust she wouldn’t have acted like she does in the rest of the game! Nevermind that she “gets” this in CF in the form of Byleth and still acts just as shittily as she does in the other routes, or how being a little lonely doesn’t fuckin’ mean you get to start war. But anyway, we also hear that Edelgard was justified in doing what she did because her ruling Fodlan would have lead to more peace in the end, once she got rid of the power structures in place now (except that doesn’t happen but whatev I guess lmao)

Aizen? He was lonely too! He was far too strong for anyone to truly be able to understand him, and so he tragically fell down a dark path. If he had known someone who could be considered an equal to him he would have never done all the horrible things he did. And the Soul Society is unjust! It needs to be reformed! So him slaughtering hundreds of thousands of souls at the minimum to harvest all of their power to use as his own is justified because it’ll be used to create a more just society under his rule!

Like. Y’all. Lowkey? I’m so fuckin’ glad Edelgard proved herself to be just as fuckin’ awful with Byleth as without because this shit drove me up the fuckin’ wall back in the day. There was 0 ways to prove that Aizen would damn sure be just as fuckin’ bad if he had an “”equal”” to stand by him than if he didn’t, and I get to kinda be right because without fundamentally changing these characters’ backstories they would not give two flying shits about whether or not they had someone “equal to them” (which is still kinda degrading to think about anyway).

Now, this is where I move away to a different topic lol

A split in the narrative cause divides in the fandom

With 3H houses this is really fuckin’ easy to point at: there’s 4 routes, three consistent stories and one radically different story, and that difference in story causes heavy contention within the fandom. It’s very obvious so I won’t go over it much.

But how in the fuck is there a divide in Bleach? It’s not a fuckin’ Choose Your Own Adventure manga, it’s an anime and manga showing off the characters of Bleach’s stories and interactions (with, you know, plot and shit thrown in).

Well. It’s more accurate to say the anime told a story about the characters, and the manga told... the story about the characters.

In terms of plot, the anime didn’t change much from the manga, but hoo fuckin’ boy, did they change shit about some of the characters. Specifically, they changed a shit ton about three characters: the two main protagonists, Ichigo and Rukia, and another main character, Orihime.

Orihime. Got. Fucked.

The anime would make her far more ditzy and clumsy, her crush (turned growing love later on in the story) for Ichigo during more deeper moments that showcases her feelings for him were downplayed if not removed entirely in exchange for talking or thinking about food, key moments she has with Ichigo early in the manga were cut or deadass changed to something else in the anime, some key moments with her relationship with Rukia were cut, her backstory was watered down - so much of Orihime was fucked with in the anime (her fuckin’ introduction was changed drastically). Meanwhile Ichigo and Rukia were given moments that didn’t exist in the manga, they have filler arcs (remember those lmao) that would be stuffed with shit ton of moments for them that have no basis in the manga, other characters would change their behavior from the manga to reflect a sort of “thing” going on between Ichigo and Rukia.

Look, guys, the anime fucked up so bad the fucking mangaka, Tite Kubo, has said he gets stomach aches watching the early anime because it was that awful. And this divide between the anime and manga’s portrayal of these three character helped spawn the ship war of Bleach: Ichiruki vs Ichihime (oh but more on that in a bit). It tanked Orihime’s popularity because people thought she was the stupid dumbass that would stumble ass first into situations when that wasn’t her character at all. And because the majority of anime watchers only watch the anime... yeah, you can see where this went. So just like in 3H in Bleach you have these radically different tellings of the same characters that drove a big-ass wedge in the fandom

Marketing

Imma be transparent, like I’ve said before I managed to avoid nearly every marketing tactic for 3H so it’s a tad hard for me to speak personally, but from what I’ve been told Edelgard was heavily marketed towards the player base pre-release. She was the poster child of 3H, she got the figma, she was in the spotlight - unless you cleansed your board of 3H content you knew exactly who she was. On top of that, it doesn’t stop in-game - loading screen messages would assume you picked BE, Adrestia is the first option to pick when you want to impress one of the lords in the prologue, the BE class is the first option to pick in choosing which route to play, every character has some moment in the game post ts where they express sympathy with the woman who waged war on them for five years (even characters with no business doing so, like Seteth entertaining the idea that maybe Edelgard isn’t that bad during Myrddin). With all of that good PR for Edelgard in and out of the game it heavily impacted how people saw her, and much of it is used by stans to justify her being a good guy (mostly in the game marketing) despite everything else in the game clearly showing that Edelgard is the bad guy

With Bleach in that regard... you have Ichiruki

holy shit it’s so weird talking about Ichiruki i’m still lowkey nervous about talking about them lmao

With Ichiruki stans, they would cling onto outside material that promoted Ichigo and Rukia together as proof that their ship was going to be canon. Spreadsheets, calendars, poems (some of which didn’t even apply to Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship but they insisted they did anyway), novels - outside material that either wasn’t canon or didn’t pertain to Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship. They would shove it in the face of Ichihime shippers that “see, we have all this stuff for us! We ain’t starving tonight!” when the canon (note: in the manga particularly) would clearly show Ichigo and Orihime’s relationship being the one that leans romantic in multiple significant ways. They would latch onto irrelevant shit that ain’t had nothin’ to do with anything and wave around as a paragon of romance when it literally wasn’t even canon

Just fuckin’ ignoring the creators deadass

Creators and developers of 3H: Edelgard is the typical Red Emperor the only difference is Girl

Stans: that’s just a headcanon

Kubo: Ichigo and Rukia have a platonic relationship and I’ve publicly said this since 2008

Stans, now, to this day: Ichigo and Rukia were robbed

Making people reject what they’re stanning for

I’ve seen a few people express that the more they interact with the fandom and see what her stans are doing, the more they grow to dislike Edelgard despite (some) initially liking or even loving her. To put it simply, the same thing happened with Ichiruki - hell, this happened with me with Ichiruki. I can’t fuckin’ stand the ship anymore because every time I think about it I’m reminded of the absolutely rancid, disgusting things Ichiruki stans have to done to others in the fandom, and even after nearly five years after Bleach has ended I still tense up when someone says they like Ichiruki over Ichihime precisely because of the behavior of the stans, just like I side-eye people who say Edelgard is the best lord. Do they like them because they simply prefer them over the other(s) and they’re not totally fuckin’ bonkers, or are they totally fuckin’ bonkers. 

And, like, that’s not fair! I know that! But I can’t help but think that when such a loud amount of people act in such deplorable ways just because someone didn’t like a bunch of lines on paper/pixels on a screen.

To all the nice Ichiruki and Edelgard fans, hope y’all are havin’ a nice day.

Long, crazy ass explanations as to why X =/= X (and if anything actually means Y)

Teacher theory for 3H. How Edelgard totally didn’t hire Kostas to kill Dimitri and Claude and was only thwarted because Claude booked it, but how she definitely actually meant to simply scare away the teacher that was with them so that Jeritza could be pulled from his already existing position in Garreg Mach to teach one class so that Edelgard can kinda keep a sorta closer eye on exactly one of the other classes (and just do shit all about the other one I guess), because Jertiza’d be able to gleam so much from teaching a class for a few hours a day I promise 

But for Bleach, you also have one particularly infamous theory positing shit that don’t real, with enough renown to be known by a specific name, and that’s the Lust Arc = Fail essay

To explain what the essay is about, I have to set the scene up a bit. Imagine, you, with your tiny little monkey brain, are watching Bleach, and you get to the part where Main Boyo is fighting against Villain to save Girly. Other Guy is there too - this is important. Main Boyo tries his hardest to fight Villain, but is ultimately shot through the fucking chest with a laser from Villain and dies. Like, for bit actually dies. Girly breaks down, has a straight up mental breakdown because she always “knew” that Main Boyo could do anything, and now he’s been killed and is dead in front of her. She screams out Main Boyo’s name, hysterically begging him to save her and protect her because holy shit the love of her life has been brutally murdered in front of her what the fuck. But Main Boyo, from literally beyond the line of death, hears her pleas and snaps back to life as a monster, with the sentence “I MUST PROTECT” repeatedly running through his head and being the only sentence he ever says while in this form, with him fucking destroying Villain and even going so far as to directly hurt Other Guy when Other Guy tries to stop Main Boyo from utterly stomping on Villain. Girly is the only person Main Boyo does not directly hurt, and when Villain is damn sure gonna fuckin’ kick the bucket that is when Main Boyo reverts back human. Everyone is more than a little shocked at what happened, but it’s clear from how relieved Girly is when Main Boyo comes back safe and sound that while this event fundamentally will change their relationship (and it does), it is still one that is extremely strong and they won’t let it get between them (and they don’t).

Now, when looking at the summary, you, with your absolutely miniscule peanut of a brain, might come away thinking, “Hm, Main Boyo might kinda care for Girly given that he literally rose from the dead to protect her and only her and went back to normal once she was safe” and you poor fool would be oh so wrong, because actually, this is all proof that Mian Boyo doesn’t care for Girly and that Villain actually cared more for Girly than Main Boyo ever could.

Without diving too deeply into the absolute lunacy of the Lust Arc = Fail essay, that was its main premise. That Ichigo, after rising from the literal dead directly after Orihime begged and pleaded that he protect and save her and then going on to protect and save specifically her (as Uryu - Other Guy - is also a friend of Ichigo’s and got his fucking arm cut off by Monster!Ichigo), is proof against Ichihime being romantic in any way and was not, in fact, a fuckin’ giant neon flashing sign that read THESE TWO ARE GONNA GET TOGETHER. It was the dumbest shit ever, but Ichiruki stans, much like Edelstans with Teacher Theory, clung to it like white on rice. It didn’t matter how much it was utterly debunked, it didn’t matter how the base premise was stupid as fuck, they point to it as the pinnacle of meta for their respective fandoms in their respective spaces.

And all of this leads me to um... the one I’m kinda the most worried about?

Stan Behavior

Edelstans are their own unique brand of awful in that that the shit they spew is particularly... worrying (”genocide isn’t bad if they aren’t human and also they kinda deserved it” “imperialism isn’t that bad really” the mentally ill should be put down if they’re deemed ~too far gone~” among other... wonderful takes...), and their behavior is also quite shitty, harassing content creators that go against the Approved Opinions (Ghast) or forcing people to take down fanart and in general infecting nearly every Rhea space with all kinds of disparaging comments no one asked for. They actively make the fandom a worse space, and when they flare up it’s almost always noticeable (again, Ghast)

Bleach?

Oh boy.

Guys. If you weren’t there for the Canonization of Ichihime (2016). You dodged a fucking bullet.

The outrage was out-fuckin’-rageous. Their behavior was some of the worst reactions anyone has ever seen come from the canonization of a ship in a shounen. This includes, but is not limited to:

Someone tearing apart all 70+ volumes of Bleach and burning it in their bathroom

In fact, multiple people tearing up Bleach and burning it, while keeping the Ichiruki moments and taping it to their walls

A Rukia cosplayer, in Rukia cosplay, printing out the final color spread of the end-game couples and their friends lounging about - with colored ink and all - and burning it, while filming herself doing so

Ichiruki porn being sent to Tite Kubo

Tite Kubo being accused of grooming a 15 Orihime cosplayer with no proof

Tite Kubo being accused of lying about his various health issues

Ichigo and Rukia being drawn cheating on their spouses with each other - and some of that also being sent to Tite Kubo

Tite Kubo being chased off Twitter by Ichiruki stans... again

Ichihime shippers getting sent death threats

Ichihime shippers getting called delusional for thinking their ship had a chance before the endgame couples were revealed, and then being called delusional for thinking their ship had any real basis and wasn’t pulled “out of nowhere”

Tite Kubo being accused of hating women because of Orihime being shown in an apron in the last chapter and Ichiruki stans jumping to the conclusion she became a housewife, and then Tite Kubo being accused of hating women because when it was revealed that Orihime has a job in a bakery to pay for college later they insisted what Kubo should have done was have Uryu, who’s a doctor at that point, pay for Orihime’s college instead of having Orihime pay for it with her own money 

And mind you, this is only the stuff I’ve personally seen and experienced

I am hoping and praying that Edelstans never get as bad as Ichiruki stans did in 2016, but with how otherwise similar they are my hopes are dwindling more and more. I guess I can take solace in the fact that they aren’t quite... that bad yet? In terms of actions, at least? Their sentiments though are infinitely worse, so like... cool

[ttlmt]

hellooooo

i'm a kind of new dnp fan (last year) so i wasn't around for BIG/COTY, so i'm taking a poll of the people who were around for it (this is purely morbid curiosity btw). what was your reaction/the phandoms reaction on your end when the videos first dropped? thank you 💕

hi! welcome lol (edit: im so sorry this got so long lmao)

well that is a loaded question for me 😂 mostly, it was just A Lot. and it got very personal and overwhelming for me which is def more of a me problem but i feel like im probs not alone so here it is

when dan dropped BIG, it was like this cavity opened in my chest and tried to swallow me whole. it was like this thing we knew we now Knew Knew but we didn’t really know it before and oh my god everything has changed and theres no going back. and then i watched the video. and 45 minutes later i’m crying and it’s brought up a bunch of emotions and memories about my own life that i didn’t want to think about. and i’m so proud of dan and i’m so excited for the future and he’s so well spoken and i love him and phil so much.

and then when i came online afterward, the impact was insane. my little safe (small) phandom bubble had exploded, it was everywhere. the discourse was insane and i don’t wanna go into it again. and i’m still having this individual crisis in my brain. and i don’t have my tumblr escape because my tumblr escape is in anarchy. so i logged off.

i’ve known that i wasn’t straight since i was 12. and i hated it about myself. i didn’t want to deal with it. i’d been cycling through microlabels and nothing felt right. i’d been bullied for something i hadnt even admitted to myself yet. watching dan’s video brought up a lot of that. and a lot of my mental health issues. and i still had to go about my day to day irl and i couldnt talk to anyone else about this. so i came back. and i came out as queer. and it was like this weight had been lifted off my shoulders and the hole in my chest that caved in completely on june 13 started to fill up a little. i started curating my phandom experience more, blocking the negativity and the antis and the people who just wanted to start shit. i felt at home. i then decided to start a group chat, and long story short it was one of the best decisions i have ever made and i have met seven of the most important people in my life.

when COTY happened, i had just ‘come out’ (haha) of this two week crisis. i remember going to therapy a few days before and being like listen i have just had a crazy two weeks and it was awful but i sorted it out and now im great and i cant tell you any of it. COTY was this burst of positivity. cause i also related to phils story. and it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but he told it in such a way that i felt safe and comfortable. and i watched it every day for like three months.

i love dnp and the phandom sm, and although it triggered one of the worst mental health weeks of my life ajehehrjj im so grateful to be around to hear their stories and im so proud they feel comfortable enough to share them and make people laugh and help people just by being the two nerds in love that they are.

[oneletterelliot]

Hot Sauce (NCT Dream) - liveblog reaction

Disclaimer: I did listen to this album once through already, plus the previews and whatnot, so this is not quite a first impression reaction.

Hot Sauce - Is it just me or do the opening shouty vocals not sound like any of the dreamies? Chenle’s line. I was NOT ready for how low his voice was? It sounds so good. The mumbly nonsense bit sounds kinda like that one song that gets memed a bunch, doesn’t it? The vocal quality to Jeno’s rapping here really reminds me of how he sounded in “Misfit.” I think I like it. Lots of good harmony moments. Renjun’s voice is lovely as always. I’m digging his and Chenle’s harmonizing in the bridge. Haechan’s high note. Yes. I like the beat of this song. Definitely makes me want to dance. Mark going, “I’m the one!” I’m a fan. More “Hot Sauce” thoughts here.

Diggity - Okay, so based of the dreamverse (that’s what it’s called, right?) video, I said here that I didn’t love the song but I liked the choreography a lot. Not loving the song is holding up for now, but it definitely has the vibe of one of those NCT songs that I don’t originally care for but the more I listen to it, the more I like it (see also “Punch”). It is pretty catchy. Renjun’s voice is swaying me, I’ll admit. Also I do really like the instrumental. I think it’s the rap I’m not sold on (yet). Is that Jisung’s low voice at 2:49 underneath the higher harmonies? I’m kind of into it. God, I didn’t even watch the dreamverse video that much but I can so clearly picture the choreo while listening to this song, it’s that good.

Dive Into You - I love this opening arpeggio instrumental. Thinking about Jisung’s voice again. I always forget how much I it. I really like the chorus, nice harmony and fun melody. Renjun’s and Haechan’s ad libs (I think it’s them at least) make me happy. 2:07, Jisung’s voice again? (Edit: I looked it up and yes, of course, it’s Jisung. It’s just that for a second I thought it could be Chenle because...) Tbh my brain has been rattled by Chenle’s lower register he displayed in “Hot Sauce.” I want more of it. Is that Renjun who closes the song? Sounds good. (Edit: It’s CHENLE actually. Uh-oh, Renjun, look out, he might be coming for your crown as my favorite NCT Dream vocalist lmao.)

My Youth - This song sounds SO coming-of-age movie. Of course it’s called “My Youth.” I know I keep gushing about Renjun’s voice, but he always sounds so good holy shit. Jisung’s voice again! I guess I’m gonna keep gushing about him too. Oh, Mark, you sound amazing too. Whoever is rapping at the 2 minute mark (Jaemin?), the cadence of this bit really reminds of the “baby, it’s 4:35 / maybe I’m barely alive” part of Maroon 5’s “Girls Like You” lmao. Mashup, when? The “ooh-ooh-ooh”s over the chorus sound amazing. Oh my god, the harmony in the bridge is SO GOOD. My brain couldn’t even focus on thinking about which of the Dream vocal trio was singing it, but damn, it was so good. (Edit: According to the lyric video I looked it, it was Renjun/Chenle harmony I was reacting to, and then a Chenle/Jisung harmony! Jisung’s harmonies this album have been really nice!!)

Rocket - Funky start. Supremely makes me want to dance. I think this would be a cha cha, but there is something a little samba-y about the beat. I know I, like, haven’t said anything about the vocals—I do like them—I’m just enjoying this beat / instrumental so much. No thoughts, only vibing. Digging the vocal mixing of the chorus. I’m shoulder-dancing in my seat as I listen to this. “Yeah, yeah!” Strong contender for my favorite song off the album. Shit, maybe it is a samba? Man, it’s been so long since I’ve gotten to ballroom dance :(

Countdown (3, 2, 1) - Oh, what time is it? IS THAT CHENLE’S ICONIC DOLPHIN LAUGH UNDER MARK’S VOICE? Renjun’s voice here reminds me a bit of “Ridin’,” so you know I like it because I believe in Renjun “Ridin’” supremacy. This also might end up being a song that I don’t really like until I listen to it a several more times. You know that thing in the instrumental that sounds like “90s Love?” Yeah. Mark sounds good in this song. I bet this song samples something. Not clue what. But I just Feel™ it does. Haechan’s high note at the end of the bridge did not do it for me, sorry bud :( Oh, I guess I like Mark’s “tick tick tock” bit.

ANL - Intro feels VERY similar to “Dive Into You,” doesn’t it? Same kind of feeling with the arpeggios, yeah? Like “My Youth,” it would feel right at home in a coming-of-age movie. 1:12, did they just say, “Yeah, we can bang all day?” “YEAH, I GIVE IT TO YOU EVERY NIGHT” ?!?!?!?!?!??! IS THIS A SONG ABOUT SEX? IT SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT BE A SONG ABOUT SEX? (No comment on the fact that “ANL” looks like............. well, you know.) (Edit: So apparently it’s “we can PAINT all day,” but the other line is actually “I give it to you every night,” which is, hmm, well.) 1:51, is this Jaemin? I like it a surprisingly large amount. (Edit: Yes, it’s Jaemin. Is this the comeback that makes me fall in love with his rapping? Hmm.) This song also makes me want to dance, but in a different way than “Hot Sauce” or “Rocket.” RENJUN IN THE BRIDGE?! THE HARMONY?! VERY NICE HONESTLY. Is this Jisung after the bridge at 2:53? Wow, I really do like his voice, huh? (Edit: yes, it’s Jisung, so jk, Jaemin, the rapper I’m falling in love with this come back is him and not you.) The line “I want to be your sunshine, girl” makes me cringe. The type of English line they’d give to Johnny in an NCT 127 song.

Irreplaceable - This song is SO funky, and I love it. I’ve said before that Haechan’s voice isn’t my favorite (I acknowledge he’s a very good singer; the tonal quality of it just doesn’t appeal to me personally), but it does fit this song very well. Kind of has a Motown, Jackson 5 vibe, which I really dig. Another song that makes me want to dance. Another contender for — did Jaemin just say “climax” (1:31)? I’m sorry? (Edit: Look, I know that’s not an inherently sex-related word, and that’s obviously not how it’s being used here, but it’s just a funny word to be used for the one random English word in the middle of the song, you know?) — my favorite song off the album. “Yeah, we about to hug and kiss,” okay, Mark. I don’t know why, but I really want to do the “Touch” dance with the arms to this song?

Be There For You - It makes sense to put the ballad after the bop that was “Irreplaceable.” I haven’t really been following all the promotional material for this album, but this is a vocal trio unit song, right? It kind of reminds of “My Everything.” Like, there’s a range of type of NCT ballad, and I think this and “My Everything” fall into the same category. 1:22, god, Renjun, your voice is so good. (I know my favoritism is showing so hard but whatever, I don’t care. I love his voice.) I like the backing harmonies. Very soft. I probably won’t listen to this song much, simply because I don’t listen to ballads much (Chinese ballads notwithstanding) but I do like it.

Rainbow - Back to the coming-of-age vibes like in “Dive Into You” and “ANL.” I can’t decide if I like the similar vibes for cohesiveness of the album or if I dislike it because I think they’re too similar. Wow, this is really a “get your lighter and/or cellphone out and wave in the air” kind of song, huh. Rap at 1:40 (Jisung?), I like it. (Sorry, the title “Rainbow” is just reminding me of how I recently told my parents, “oh, I think this guy I went to high school with is queer because he has the rainbow flag emoji in his insta bio,” and my dad said, “maybe he just really likes colors.” PLEASE.) The harmonies are nice. Renjun’s ad libs towards the end (3:05-3:17 ish), yes. I like the song, it won’t be a favorite, but this is a nice note to end the album on.

Over all thoughts: It’s a good album. Really enjoyable and definitely feels cohesive. I love the mix of peppy, dancey energy and this kind of soft yearning coming-of-age feeling. It makes a lot of sense for NCT Dream’s first full album. Chenle and Jisung are both pleasantly surprising me, and I’m looking forward to seeing how their voices continue to develop in the future. (Side note: SM, please let Chenle sing in his lower register more! His high voice is lovely, but so is his low voice!) Favorite songs currently are “Rocket” and “Irreplaceable.” 

[emileecon]

Shinkami childhood friends!AU

-based off of my art here

so the idea for this art came to me at like 3 in the morning and once I got the drawing out of my system my mind decided to come up with shinkami’s whole backstory. so it’s 3am again (apparently my productive time rip) so here it is:

Current summary:

shinsou is in the hero course at U.A., denki is in the support course

currently they are in their first year

they’ve been best friends since they were little

denki was inspired by shinsou to be a support engineer, shinsou was inspired by denki to be a hero

they’re totally head over heels for one another

I mean the pining is REAL

and everyone just wants them to GET TOGETHER ALREADY DAMMIT (students in class 1-A and 1-F’s words, not mine) (okay my words too cuz damn I really make them pine for one another lmao)

Backstory:

---so shinsou and denki don’t meet each other until they are five, when shinsou transfers to denki’s school. Because they’ve recently gotten their quirks,  shinsou is forced to wear a muzzle by the school board so he doesn’t accidentally activate his quirk. Everyone knows that when a kid has to wear a muzzle they probably have a terrifying quirk, so all the kids in his class steer clear from him and talk behind his back. Except denki of course, because denki only thinks that he looks kinda cool and how did his mom let him turn his hair purple? because denki wanted to turn his rainbow but his mom wouldn’t let him.

---denki is the first to approach shinsou like the little bundle of joy that he is. Shinsou is very shy at first due to the bullying he received at his previous school, which is the reason why he transferred in the first place. He slowly opens up though when he realizes denki won’t leave him alone. Because he can’t talk, he just listens to denki ramble, adding in a nod here and there to show he’s listening. And he IS, listening that is, because no one has ever talked to him that much before, so he listens eagerly to everything denki says no matter how random the thoughts are. Denki asks shinsou a lot of yes and no questions to get to know him better, and shinsou lowkey cries when he gets home because he finally has a friend.

“I’m denki, nice to meetchya!”

“I know ya can’t talk with that on but ya look really cool, like a hero or somethin’! do ya like heroes, do ya? your hair is so cool! I wanna turn my hair rainbow but my momma won’t let me, she says I need ta wait until I’m big. Do ya like cheerios? I brought them for snack time, ya want some?” 

---the boys are six when denki finds out what shinsou’s quirk is. It all starts with shinsou’s muzzle. He doesn’t think it’s fair that shinsou still has to wear one. He’s been going to quirk therapy to try and get his quirk, whatever it was, under control, so why does he still have to wear it? Shinsou’s parents won’t talk to his parents about it, no matter how much he bugs both parties. Shinsou’s parents are kinda mean, he doesn’t like them much. But he does like shinsou, so he forms a plan. Denki knows for sure shinsou’s muzzle is locked electronically somehow, he can hear the buzzing whenever he hugs tackles him. So denki practices lighting sparks with his pointer finger, way into the night under his covers when he should be sleeping instead. When he sees shinsou next, he fries the lock and takes off his muzzle. One moment he’s answering shinsou’s confusing splutters, the next he wakes to a crying boy hugging him and a lot of screaming adults. That’s when he knew he was in BIG trouble. He finds out shinsou’s quirk later that night when his parents tuck him into bed, and he cries himself to sleep. Not because he’s scared of shinsou, but because he’s scared FOR him; that he won’t be his friend anymore for trying to take his muzzle off. He really hopes shinsou forgives him. At school the next day shinsou looks scared when he runs up to him, but quickly hugs Denki when he cries and apologizes for taking off the muzzle without any warning. Denki vows the next time he tries something (because of course there will be a next time) that’ll he be more sneaky, and actually include shinsou in his plan.

“I’m sorry shinsou, I’m sorry I made you cry! Please still be my friend.”

“So you can control things? Don’t look sad, it’s a really cool quirk, promise!”

“I really wanna hear your voice though. Don’t be scared, you won’t hurt me! I’ll figure out how to get your muzzle off again, pinky promise!”

---the first time shinsou talks to denki is when they’re eight. He knows denki’s been trying to break the new lock on his muzzle. He’s knows denki has been talking to his engineer uncle, taking this task on with a level of passion that he’s never seen in his usually passionate friend. He feels bad that he doesn’t want him to succeed though, because the only thing scarier than accidentally controlling someone is scaring denki away because of it. Unfortunately denki is even more stubborn than he is passionate, and after two years of learning enough from his uncle and actually being able to do it with his unskilled, eight year old hands, denki eventually unlocks shinsou’s muzzle. It’s a tense moment, both nervous for different reasons, but shinsou remembers his therapy sessions and takes a calming breath. They end up talking all night, both crying from the excitement of being able to properly communicate. They wake up extra early to put shinsou’s muzzle back on and his parents are none the wiser. These secret talks become frequent, and shinsou has never been happier in his life.

---that time was an important moment in denki’s life as well, because being able to help shinsou and see his smile made him feel fulfilled with his work, like he actually did something right for once. And learning about all that mechanic stuff was really fun, so denki continues to learn with his uncle as his mentor, leading him to pursue a career in making support gear for heroes.

---it’s in middle school when shinsou decides he wants to be a hero. Despite his muzzle finally being removed because he could now control his quirk, people are still cruel. They mock him and ignore his existence. Shinsou doesn’t care though, because the only person that ever mattered to him was denki. The one thing he doesn’t stand for though, is people making fun of denki. Denki lost more friends the more he stayed with shinsou, until eventually all they had was each other. Neither of them cared, but the loss of denki’s friends meant an increase in denki’s bullies. The one time they weren't together is when denki’s bullies started getting physical. Shinsou walked in on them pushing denki to the ground. Shinsou ended up getting detention for a week for using his quirk to make them pee their pants in front of the class, but he didn’t care. He had to put on that damn muzzle for the week too, but denki’s hug and his “thanks toshi, you’re my hero!” made it worth it. This is the moment he finally realizes that his quirk might actually be able to be used for good after all (despite denki’s constant lecturing about how it’s always been good) and this is what makes him decide to pursue a career as a hero (that and remembering all the times he saved denki from situations only he could get himself into, because apparently he's lowkey been a hero this whole time so why not make a career out of it?).

---shinsou and denki both get into U.A., opening their exam results together. Shinsou passes the practical exam because of the gear and capture weapon denki creates for him. Denki gets accepted with the help of shinsou’s tutoring, because despite being a mechanical GENIUS his grades aren’t the best. It also helps that he developed his quirk to be able to sense electricity and the flow of it through electrical circuits. Being able to touch equipment and figure out where the mechanics aren’t working (by where the electricity stops flowing in the circuits) was very impressive to the admissions panel, to the point he gets a full scholarship to join U.A.’s support department.

---denki visits shinsou all the time in class 1-A, and often pulls him away to sit together at lunch. They’re shocked when they see how much shinsou talks and how easily he smiles with him. Everyone completely loses it when they see the blonde jump on him and not get thrown across the cafeteria. Class 1-A is beyond curious about the blonde who has their infamously cold classmate wrapped around his finger. When denki meets the class everyone immediately falls in love with him. Denki is the major reason why shinsou (reluctantly) makes friends, because everyone comes to see how shinsou’s cold persona is a facade and he’s actually just a sap an awkward (but cool nonetheless) person.

---everyone in denki’s class take to his optimistic and unique personality. They become extremely curious about the mysterious hero course student that stops into denki’s workshop almost everyday, and start a betting pool about his backstory and their relationship.

---class 1-A often wonders how bad denki’s luck must be to get himself in the situations he always ends up in. They also end up seeing how smart denki really is over various points of knowing him, and how badass he can be with his quirk and knowledge of mechanics. Everyone learns that while he may be a ball of sunshine, he can also probably take you down in 0.2 seconds.

---class 1-A often teases shinsou about denki, but when they come to learn through various anecdotes how much the two mean to one another, they gain so much respect for the two and everything they have been through.

Annndddd I’m done for now haha. I have so many more thoughts about how the arcs change and about the other stories (both good and bad) that happen throughout their childhood but I’ll write those out if anyone is actually curious, otherwise this is the end of my immediate thoughts after only one piece of art 😂

[gordvendomewhore]

Hey could do some headcanons for Bif Taylor? It can be about dating or just general stuff about him thank you

hey anon!!! thank you so so much for sending this request in! it was lots of fun to work on this lmao i LOVEEE bif and had to hold myself back from making this TOO long haha

also, i’m SO sorry it’s taken forever to finish this omg, my mini hiatus was not planned at all, but i’m back now!

i did a mix of regular headcanons and dating headcanons so i hope that everything is satisfactory :))

with the dating ones, i tried to make them realistic because well,, yknow relationships aren’t all sunshine and rainbows

but yes!!! i hope you enjoy reading this <333

bif headcanons

bif used to be TINY.

he was pea sized, a child, a BABY, he could snap him like a twig if the wind blew too hard

but yeah he was short lol

derby was taller than him for the majority of their childhood, and 100% used it to tease bif lmao

but in eighth grade, bif grew so much that he was basically,,, unrecognizable.

i like this headcanon a lot, like A LOT, but honestly i also really like imagining that bif was always just naturally tall yknow??

but bif being short as a kid is more close to canon since bif has a voice line referring to his height haha

other than derby, i think that bif is closest with chad and bryce

they all bond quite well over boxing, especially since these three are more dedicated to the sport compared to the other preps (at least in my opinion 😳)

i also think that,,, in a weird way, they’re the most “grounded” preps? like they’re all still stuck up and narcissistic, but to a slightly lesser degree than the others

they’re just,,,chill. you know?

it’s more in their personality and attitude rather than their morals lmao

bif knows basic bartending

as a kid he had tons of time on his hands; all rich kids do, despite having endless amounts of money for any piece of entertainment they could ever desire

but i guess when you have everything you could ever want, it all loses value, yeah?

so yeah, he fucked around in his father’s bar, and learned a few things along the way

it’s not really a useful skill to have, since bif is obviously never going to have a career as a bartender and since he also has servants to make drinks for him

but it’s something that gets him further on derby’s good side

yknow, since bif is basically just derby’s piss bitch

dating headcanons

god pwease forgive me for these shitty HCs

bif is the PERFECT person to share a bed with during winter. he’s nothing but pure muscle mass, so cuddling with bif basically means you get your own personal heater LMAO

but,,,, pray for yourself during summer.

bif is the type of guy who’d pull out the fisticuffs when his s/o were hurt, even if there wasn’t any person who specifically hurt his partner (like if they had just tripped over a rock lol)

now, this can be attractive feature because wow!!1!1! big strong man protecting me and being BUFF!!1!1!!1!

but please, unnecessary violence is not cute and honestly very toxic in real life

examples include: BOTH edward and jacob from twilight, noah flynn from the kissing booth, hardin scott from after, and christian grey from 50 shades of grey

psssst, spoiler alert! all of those fictional love interests are incredibly toxic

(and overall horribly written and underdeveloped but everyone already knows that)

i’m just including this because one, it’s bully and literally EVERYONE fights, and two, because it’s in character for bif, whether or not it’s a conventional trait to have

he would just,,, loom over you

tbh i don’t think bif is the touchy feely type, even though it would be cute sigh

hmm i don’t think ANY of the preps are considering their upbringing and personalities as a whole (maybe with the exception of one or two but i’ll talk about that more another day lol)

so i can’t see bif constantly being all touchy, or initiating physical intimacy with his s/o a lot

but he has those body guard tendencies baybee, so he’ll always be at your side giving you company and sending deadly glares to anyone looking your way 😎

but despite this last point, if your love language has to do with physical affection, he’ll be happy to provide!!

you just gotta understand that,,, it’s not exactly his thing

his love language, along with most likely ALL the preps, is gift giving!

he was raised to believe that giving gifts was the key way of showing your appreciation for someone’s value in your life, so bet your ASS he’s spending money on you

and that’s it!! thank you for reading and im SO sorry this is so long omg i currently don’t have access to a computer so i can’t add a read more!

feel free to send any requests you have 💕💕

[kirishwima]

Can I request some headcanons of Yoosung with a very touchy, forward MC who isn't shy at all with PDA, flirting or affection in general? It's me. I need to shower him with love. For his birthday, as a treat.

ohh i only saw this long after Yoosungie’s birthday aaa, im sorry ;-; still, that’s such a cute prompt (im also a very touchy feely person w everyone i love so this is a big mood lmao), hope you’ll like it regardless!

Yoosung with a touchy-feely forward MC:

* It’s not that Yoosung isn’t affectionate; he loves hugs, loves kisses and cuddles, and has always dreamed of someone to do all of this with.

* In theory, everything is sunshine and rainbows right? But when it comes to reality....hoo boy. This boy is as shy as can be.

* When he fell for MC, he fell for their boldness-the way they said everything straight, how they praised him where they should and put him in his place when he went overboard. He loved their flirty nature, their little pick-up lines in the RFA chatroom, the ones that made his cheeks red in the safety of his room.

* When he saw them at the RFA party, that surge of emotions, the adrenaline, the love-there they were, in front of him, the person he’d give his life for, looking as beautiful as he imagined they’d be. He couldn’t help but reach out and grab them, kiss them fully on the lips, the only way to convey his feelings to them properly.

* But that was ONE instant. ONE. And now, to have this gorgeous person love him back, to casually touch and kiss him....he loved it and hated it all at once. Everytime MC kissed him he’d sigh with relief, never wanting to let them go, yet his mind screamed with furious embarassement, his cheeks turned so red he thought he’d burn up from the inside out, and he had to cut the kiss short, firmly shutting his eyes as he tried to calm himself down.

* MC found it adorable, and gave him as much time as he needed to adjust to their bold nature-they knew it’s not for everyone, so they never wanted to push him further than what he could stant. But how could they keep their hands off of him when he looked so cute and so kissable?

* At the very least they had to hold hands with him when walking outside-and even that it took a long time for him to be able to do without blushing. Once, he tried to snake his arm around MC’s waist whilst walking outside-MC grinned and leaned up to kiss him, and he immediatly backed away, his face redder than Seven’s hair.

* Once, on Valentine’s day, he decided he’d be just as bold as MC; it’s not fair that they were always the one to initiate anything between them! 

* So after going to the movies, after he downed his whole water bottle and almost choked on his popcorn as a sex scene came up in the movie they were watching and MC turned to him and WINKED; he finally decided this is it.

* With a shuddering breath, he brought his arm down and to the side....and onto MC’s thigh, firmly placing his palm on their leg, spreading out his fingers to dig into MC’s skin, in what he hoped would be a comforting yet flirty gesture.

* But when MC turned to him with a devilish smirk, leaning into the crook of his neck as they trailed their lips up to his ear to whisper “Is that an invitation for later?”

* ...Well, Yoosung had to excuse himself out of the cinema room, to the cinema’s cantine, to buy two bottles of water; one to drink. And the other one to pour water over his head in hopes of cooling his thirst tf down.

LMAO this ended up silly im sorry, honestly he’d be very very bold when he and MC were alone, but the moment they’re out he’d be so shy, unless his yandere jealous mode was activated-then he’d not even think twice to grab MC and make out with them in the middle of the street if it’s to show everyone HE’S the one MC’s dating lol

-send me a mystic messenger headcanon/scenario for character reactions!-